Publicly Dancing In My Underwear
Today’s the 5 year anniversary of me filming a video that I thought, at one time, would ruin my life.
I had lost a weight loss bet to our Producer on The Bert Show Tommy Owen, and the punishment was dancing to a Britney Spears song…in my underwear. (To be clear, I've grown and evolved and developed since then on my body-love journey and knowing what I know now, I would never partake in a bet like this again, nor would I encourage anyone to. But back then, it seemed like good motivation.)
As someone who was SUPER self-conscious about her body and struggled with her weight…I thought the horror of this was insurmountable. But I rose to the challenge.
I called up Rett Thompson from Masters of Visual Arts to film & a girl who had just started working with us - named Davi - offered to help me with props. Who knew that years later Davi and I would have the friendship (and podcast!) that we have, but that tells you something about her that she was literally willing to UNDRESS ME (yep, really) in the video before we were close friends.
We “broke” in to an abandoned floor in the building, got caught by security guards with me on my knees having french fries poured in my face while being fanned, filmed a video to #Slave4U with DANCING & feather boas & fans & disappearing clothes & giant lollipops and made the most KICK ASS VIDEO EVER.
Looking back on it, I wish I could tell that Cassie not to worry about her body. That at every stage of her life, she’d look back & say “I wish I looked like that now.” That she could wear a two piece & no one would vomit or scream & the world wouldn’t end. That in a few years, she’d be 25lbs heavier and would STILL wear two pieces, except without the jewelry & the fixed hair and the makeup, because who cares, two pieces are way more comfortable and she’s more secure in her body than she’s ever been. That 25lbs later, she’d be in fashion shows and starting fashion curation programs (heyyyy @CurvyStyleGuide) and letting people photograph her in ACTUAL lingerie (what up OWN Boudoir), and that she’d be pointing out “problem” areas on her body publicly to show how STUPID that kind of thinking is.
I wish I could tell her that the problem with how she looks is ALL in her head. That if she could just let go of worrying about that stupid crap, she could do SO much more with all that mental free space.
I’m glad I learned all those things and I hope you realize that this applies to you, too. Spend that mental energy somewhere else. Let go.